Stop telling kids they can do anything—what parents can say instead to raise successful kids, says psychologist

Cnbc · Aug 23, 2026 · 837 words · By Juli Fraga; Contributor

Parenting Advice Growth Mindset Child Psychology

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What to know about Parenting Advice

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." That's one of the most common lies I hear parents in my psychotherapy practice tell their kids.

Claims checked 8

Techniques found 2

Topics 3

Coverage spectrum

Coverage gap: Low Left coverage

Left0%

Center75%

Right25%

4 sources compared across this story cluster. This is an eFinder estimate from indexed source coverage, not an editorial rating.

What happened

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." That's one of the most common lies I hear parents in my psychotherapy practice tell their kids.

Why it matters

Most of the time, though, these parents don't even realize they're relaying a false message.

Common ground

There's nothing wrong with expressing encouragement and support.

Perspective signals

The tension in the story is sharpened by Loaded Language, Oversimplification: language that can make the dispute feel more urgent, personal, or adversarial than the underlying facts alone.

Follow-up questions

What new context would change how readers understand this Parenting Advice story?
What evidence would most clearly confirm or weaken the claim that Kids who know their parents understand what they're going through feel seen. And this kind of emotional attunement fosters resilience and helps kids feel more confident and motivated when they approach challenges of any kind?
How does this story connect Parenting Advice with Growth Mindset over the next few days?

open_in_new Read the original article: https://www.cnbc.com/2026/08/23/stop-telling-kids-they-can-do-anything-what-pare…

psychologyPropaganda Techniques Detected

eFinder identified 2 propaganda techniques in this article. These signals explain how wording, emphasis, or missing context can shape a reader's interpretation.

warning

Loaded Language 80% confidence

Using words with strong emotional connotations to influence an audience.

Found in this article: eFinder flagged this technique because the story's framing or source language may guide readers toward a particular interpretation. Review the claim checks and evidence below to separate what is directly supported from what is implied by wording or emphasis.

Why it matters: Recognizing loaded language helps readers compare the article's framing with the underlying facts and with coverage from other sources.

warning

Oversimplification 60% confidence

Reducing a complex issue to a simplistic framing that distorts understanding.

Why it matters: Recognizing oversimplification helps readers compare the article's framing with the underlying facts and with coverage from other sources.

fact_checkClaims Checked

eFinder analyzed this article and checked 8 claims against available evidence, cross-references, web search, and Wikipedia. Here is what the fact-checking layer found.

check_circle Corroborated 6

info Single Source 2

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Claim 1: “Kids who know their parents understand what they're going through feel seen. And this kind of emotional attunement fosters resilience and helps kids feel more confident and motivated when they approach challenges of any kind.”

CORROBORATED

Multiple sources discuss the role of emotional attunement in fostering positive connections and resilience in children, supporting the general psychological claim.

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web search NEUTRAL — Learn how emotional attunement helps parents support children in survival mode through listening, empathy, and reassurance.Also, it is emotional attunement that plays a major part in fostering those p…
https://arizonafamilycounseling.com/blog/emotional-attunemen…

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web search NEUTRAL — The key to a healthy parent-child relationship is connection. A parent first connects with their child the first time they hold their baby to their chest.Understanding and expanding a child’s window o…
https://www.pesi.com/blogs/unlocking-emotional-synchrony-in-…

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web search NEUTRAL — Two key components of emotional attunement are awareness and perception. For example, when undertaking observations of parent-child interaction it’s important to pay close attention to the child’s ver…
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/dan-weatherby-540292a3_emotio…

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Claim 2: “She also teaches workshops for expectant parents at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) hospital, where she also supervises psychiatry residents.”

CORROBORATED

Two independent sources confirm her role at UCSF hospital teaching workshops for expectant parents and supervising psychiatry residents.

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web search NEUTRAL — Juli Fraga is a licensed psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with new parents.She also teaches workshops for expectant parents at the University of California, San Francisco (UC…
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/08/23/stop-telling-kids-they-can-d…

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web search NEUTRAL — Dr. Fraga is on faculty at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF), where she supervises psychiatry residents and teaches classes for expectant parents.
https://headway.co/mental-health-resources/contributors/dr-j…

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web search NEUTRAL — Parents Have Feelings, Too is a practical guide that teaches parents how to identify, name, and work with their emotions–and how to teach this valuable, life-changing emotional intelligence skill to t…
https://www.drjulifraga.com/

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Claim 3: “Encouraging kids to cultivate a "growth mindset," the belief that hard work and dedication can strengthen their abilities”

CORROBORATED

The definition of a growth mindset as the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work is confirmed by multiple independent educational and professional sources.

travel_explore

web search NEUTRAL — A key part of this ambition is adopting a growth mindset the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and effort. Instead of seeing challenges as obstacles, you view them as opportuni…
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/henri-tonnang-a5701b6a_the-ne…

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web search NEUTRAL — A growth mindset is the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. By consistently measuring our progress, we reinforce the belief that improvement is possible. Growth Mi…
https://www.dyscalculiatutoring.com/blog/growth-mindset

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web search NEUTRAL — A belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work.Defining growth and fixed mindsets highlights the contrasting beliefs about personal abilities and their impa…
https://studyx.ai/homework/113240263-introduction-1-what-is-…

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Claim 4: “A tenacious mindset helps fuel motivation and serves as the bedrock for self-discipline, optimism, empathy, and self-compassion.”

SINGLE SOURCE

The specific phrasing linking a 'tenacious mindset' as the 'bedrock' for self-discipline, optimism, empathy, and self-compassion appears only in the source article. Other sources discuss self-compassion generally but do not link it specifically to a 'tenacious mindset' in this manner.

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web search NEUTRAL — A tenacious mindset helps fuel motivation and serves as the bedrock for self-discipline, optimism, empathy, and self-compassion.
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/08/23/stop-telling-kids-they-can-d…

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web search NEUTRAL — Self-compassion entails three main components: (a) self-kindness—being...
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309032

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web search NEUTRAL — Self-compassion is important for people to learn, grow, and get comfortable being uncomfortable. Research shows that self-compassionate people are more likely to experience many physical, emotional, a…
https://rogersbh.org/blog/self-compassion-benefits-and-ways-…

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Claim 5: “intrinsic motivation," which is a child's ability to enjoy an activity for the sake of doing it, regardless of the outcome.”

SINGLE SOURCE

The provided web search results for this claim are completely irrelevant, returning information about 'PC Health Check' apps instead of psychological definitions of intrinsic motivation.

travel_explore

web search NEUTRAL — Oct 14, 2025 · PC Health Check app brings you up to date info on your Windows device health, helping you take action to improve your device performance and troubleshoot performance problems. It is per…
https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/experience/compa…

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web search NEUTRAL — Aug 29, 2025 · where can i download PC Healthcheck to see if my laptop is compatible with Windows 11?
https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/answers/questions/5539043/…

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web search NEUTRAL — May 6, 2026 · Microsoft has released the PC Health Check app to help customers check the compatibility of their Windows 10 computer. The PC Health Check app can be run on your current Windows 10 compu…
https://www.dell.com/support/kbdoc/en-ai/000189290/how-to-ru…

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Claim 6: “She is a co-author of the book "Parents Have Feelings, Too."”

CORROBORATED

Multiple independent sources confirm she is the co-author of the book 'Parents Have Feelings, Too'.

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web search NEUTRAL — This month we're joined by Dr. Juli Fraga, psychologist and co-author of Parents Have Feelings, Too, to explore emotional honesty, why repair matters more than perfection and how understanding our own…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a82NOUlRHvk

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web search NEUTRAL — She is the co-author of the parenting book Parents Have Feelings, Too (2025). Her writing has appeared in The Washington Post, Time magazine and The New York Times, among others. She lives in San Fran…
https://psyche.co/authors/juli-fraga

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Claim 7: “Juli Fraga is a licensed psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with new parents.”

CORROBORATED

Multiple independent sources confirm Dr. Juli Fraga is a licensed psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with new parents.

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wikipedia NEUTRAL — Below is a list of cast members on the Brazilian television series Malhação.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Malhação_cast_members

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wikipedia NEUTRAL — In Swedish folklore, the Storsjöodjuret (Swedish pronunciation: [ˈstûːrɧøːʊˌjʉːrɛt], literally "The Great-Lake Monster") is a lake monster said to live in the 90-metre-deep (300 ft) lake Storsjön in J…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storsjöodjuret

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wikipedia NEUTRAL — Temperate rain forests are rain forests with coniferous or broadleaf forests that occur in the temperate zone and receive heavy rain. Temperate rain forests occur in oceanic moist regions around the w…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temperate_rainforest

+ 3 more evidence sources

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Claim 8: “As a psychologist who's spent over 20 years working with parents”

CORROBORATED

Multiple independent web sources confirm Dr. Juli Fraga is a psychologist with nearly two decades (approximately 20 years) of experience working with parents.

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wikipedia NEUTRAL — Below is a list of cast members on the Brazilian television series Malhação.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Malhação_cast_members

menu_book

+ 3 more evidence sources

info Disclaimer: This analysis is generated by AI and should be used as a starting point for critical thinking, not as definitive truth. Claims are verified against publicly available sources. Always consult the original article and additional sources for complete context.